So why do you see other people as enemies, and why can’t you think of them as your comrades? It is because you have lost your courage and you are running away from your “life tasks.

First, there are two objectives for behavior: to be self-reliant and to live in harmony with society. Then, the two objectives for the psychology that supports these behaviors are the consciousness that I have the ability and the consciousness that people are my comrades

It is fundamentally impossible for a person to live life completely alone, and it is only in social contexts that the person becomes an individual. That is why in Adlerian psychology, self-reliance as an individual and cooperation within society are put forth as overarching objectives.

Yes. Even if you are avoiding your life tasks and clinging to your life-lies, it isnt because you are steeped in evil. It is not an issue to be condemned from a moralistic standpoint. It is only an issue of courage.

Deny the Desire for Recognition

Do Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others

For example, lets say youve been picking up litter around your workplace. The thing is, no one seems to notice at all. Or if they do, no one has given you any appreciation for what you’ve done, or even said a single word of thanks. Well, will you keep on picking up litter from now on?

This is the danger of the desire for recognition. Why is it that people seek recognition from others? In many cases, it is due to the influence of reward-and-punishment education.

Wishing so hard to be recognized will lead to a life of following expectations held by other people who want you to be "this kind of person". In other words, you throw away who you really are and live other people's lives. And please remember this: If you are not living to satisfy other people expectations, it follows that other people are not living to satisfy your expectations. Someone might not act the way you want him to, but it doesn't do to get angry. Thats only natural.

You are the only one who can change yourself.

All you can do with regard to your own life is choose the best path that you believe in. On the other hand, what kind of judgment do other people pass on that choice? That is the task of other people, and is not a matter you can do anything about.

You havent done the separation of tasks yet. You assume that even things that should be other people's tasks are your own. Remember the words of the grandmother: "You're the only one who's worried how you look." Her remark drives right to the heart of the separation of tasks. What other people think when they see your face—that is the task of other people and is not something you have any control over.

Freedom

Now, if one were to say that living like a stone tumbling downhill and allowing such inclinations or desires or impulses to take one wherever they will is 'freedom,' one would be incorrect. To live in such a way is only to be a slave to one's desires and impulses. Real freedom is an attitude akin to pushing up ones tumbling self from below

As I have stated repeatedly, in Adlerian psychology, we think that all problems are

the universe. In light of what we have discussed until now, the conclusion we reach regarding "What is freedom?" should be clear.

In short, that "freedom is being disliked by other people."

People want to like themselves. They want to feel that they have worth. In order to feel that, they want a feeling of contribution that tells them "I am of use to someone." And they seek recognition from others as an easy means for gaining that feeling of contribution.

If the goal of climbing a mountain were to get to the top, that would be a kinetic act. To take it to the extreme, it wouldn't matter if you went to the mountaintop in a helicopter, stayed there for five minutes or so, and then headed back in the helicopter again. Of course, if you didn't make it to the mountaintop, that would mean the mountain-climbing expedition was a failure. However, if the goal is mountain climbing itself, and not just getting to the top, one could say it is energeial. In this case, in the end it doesn't matter whether one makes it to the mountaintop or not

To shine a spotlight on here and now is to go about doing what one can do now, earnestly and conscientiously.

To live earnestly and conscientiously?

he was likely dancing earnestly the dance of his everyday work. He lived earnestly here and now, without having a grand objective or the need to achieve that objective. And, if that was the case, it would seem that your father's life was a happy one

You think, I really want to do this, and I'll do it when the time comes. This is a way of living that postpones life. As long as we postpone life, we can never go anywhere and will pass our days only one after the next in dull monotony, because we think of here and now as just a preparatory period, as a time for patience. But a "here and now" in which one is studying for an entrance examination in the distant future, for example, is the real thing

The greatest life-lie of all is to not live here and now. It is to look at the past and the future, cast a dim light on one's entire life, and believe that one has been able to see something. Until now, you have turned away from the here and now and shone a light only on invented pasts and futures. You have told a great lie to your life, to these irreplaceable moments

So cast away the life-lie and fearlessly shine a bright spotlight on here and now. That is something you can do regardless of the circumstances, we must take some form of action. We must stand up to Kant's "inclination."

Then, let's dance in earnest the moments of the here and now, and live in earnest. Do not look at the past, and do not look at the future. One lives each complete moment like a dance. There is no need to compete with anyone, and one has no use for destinations. As long as you are dancing, you will get somewhere... "The world is simple, and life is too."